


I'll Be The First(Discontinued)

by blumen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Band Fic, Bisexuality, Closeted Character, Coming Out, F/F, M/M, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexuality Crisis, Singer! Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3631149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blumen/pseuds/blumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm straight."<br/>"That's what they all say," Aidan rolled his eyes playfully. "Besides, I don't believe that for a second."<br/><br/>----------<br/><br/>Eren isn't gay. Nope. He's straighter than a ruler. Just because he can appreciate an good-looking man doesn't mean that he's a homo. Besides, he loves girls and he's been with enough of them to know this for a fact. Definitely 100% straight.<br/><br/>Enter Levi with his annoyingly sexy face and abs that shouldn't be physically possible. But that doesn't mean he's gay. No. He's comfortable enough in his sexuality to freely say Levi is an extremely attractive man. That's it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Be The First

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh I can't write summaries at all but give me a cookie for trying
> 
> It probably isn't the best time for me to start writing something new since exam season is coming up so soon but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ its only going to be a short story so hopefully I won't completely destroy my future career.

“That's it! I want you out of this house!” Grisha roared, making the windows shiver. 

“Fine! You're a shit Dad anyway!” Eren yelled, reaching towards the door. He made sure to slam it as hard as he could on his way out. Grisha didn't follow him.

To say Eren was pissed would be an understatement. He was absolutely boiling. His school had decided they were fed up with his below average test scores, and after another pointless fight with Jean, they had expelled him. Academies had reputations to uphold after all. Reputations that had no room for disappointments like Eren. His expulsion didn't do much to help his already fragile relationship with his father either.

It seemed they fought about everything these days. Anything from undone dishes to misplaced socks was enough to spark up a never ending screaming match. And those were just the small arguments.  _But this must have been the last straw_ , Eren thought bitterly.

There was nowhere for him to go. Mikasa was off hating the world with Annie, and Armin would be with that Horse-face again no doubt. He'd rather aimlessly strut the streets than third-wheel anyone. After last time he swore never again. The memory of Jean licking Armin's strawberry face still haunted him at night.

As Eren furiously paced down various winding alleyways, he realized he had nothing. No money. No clothes. No food. Zilch. In his mad rush to piss off Grisha, he hadn't even thought to pack anything. Just like him to do something so stupid. No wonder he was kicked out in the first place.

Self-hatred and detest for his father spurred Eren on. He didn't pay attention to his surroundings as he walked, only focusing on the anger swelling up inside of him. Even though he was aware he wasn't walking in any particular direction, Eren was still surprised when he no longer recognized his surroundings. Somehow he had ended up in a city brimming with some...interestingly dressed people. Blinding lights flashed around him, alternating between vivid purples, reds and blues bright enough to give Eren a headache. Distant club music screeched loud enough to shatter your eardrums, and the stench of vodka was so strong Eren could get drunk just off the smell.

A bronze boy danced past him, fake silver wings swinging on his back. Gold glitter decorated his face like freckles, and his mossy-green eyes were heavily outlined by a midnight blue. Eren wondered if he was cold walking around shirtless and in shorts that barely counted as underwear, or even a thong, but that thought was distracted by, um, certain assets. When he caught Eren staring, he winked.

“Why you looking so sour, hon?” he giggled, lights from passing cars flicking across his face. There was something about the amusement in his tone that pissed Eren off.

“Don't call me that; I'm not your  _hon,_ ” Eren snarled, not at all kindly.

“Wow! You are sour! Listen, you look like you need a drink, and since I think you're cute-”Eren scowled, “-I'll buy you one. I'm heading to a club with my group anyways. You're free to join us,”

“Hey Aiden, are you done chatting up that twink?” A voice yelled at the man, Aiden, talking (harassing more accurately) to Eren.

“What the fuck is a twink?” Eren. He didn't know what it meant, but it didn't sound like a compliment from the way it was said.

“Oh god, you're straight, aren't you?” Aiden sighed. “Shame, we can't all be perfect. Well the offer still stands; do you want a drink?”

Eren wasn't feeling very tempted at the thought of spending anymore time being subject to weird insults and uncomfortable flirting. But a drink. Now that was tempting. He could definitely use one. Maybe more than one. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Eren shrugged in agreement, and Aiden dragged him towards his friends. They were all as oddly dressed as he was, with equally as strange make-up.

“What's you name?” Aidan asked as he rejoined his group.

“Eren,” he answered, hoping he didn't regret revealing it later.

“Cute name,” Aiden smirked whilst staring at Eren in a way that made him fidget.

“Guys, this is Eren,” Aiden introduced. He still hadn't let go of Eren's hand. “Eren, this is Tristan, Winter, and Emerald.” Eren guessed their birth certificates claimed otherwise, but he kept his mouth shut.

Tristan, the boy who had made the confusing comment earlier, had spiky, electric-blue hair and fierce eyebrows that were way too perfect to be natural. By the way he was glaring at Eren like he was Hitler reincarnated, he guessed he already didn't like him. Winter and Emerald were too busy playing tonsil tennis to notice him. He gazed at them both for a while, trying to figure out their genders but was unsuccessful.

"Hey," Eren weakly attempted a greeting. 

“Well, now that we've all been introduced, let's go!” Aidan cheered and bounced towards a large building crawling with graffiti. Somehow it didn't make it look cheap, but arty instead, as if it were purposely like that. A long line of people (most with outrageous hair colours as well) shrieked playfully at each other whilst they waited to get in. Eren reluctantly followed Aidan towards the front, aware of the crowds staring at him. He felt rather under dressed in his crumpled school uniform and loose tie. There hadn't been any time to get changed after all. But judging from the looks he was getting, they probably weren't because of the wrinkles in his shirt.

The beefy bouncer's hostile glare lessened once he spotted Aiden. Eren noticed Tristan flinch as Aiden whispered lowly in his ear and giggled overly loud. A sloppy make-out session between the two ensued before they were all allowed in. Eren thought that kind of thing only happened in movies, but judging by the flashy clothing and lights, he may as well be in one.

As soon as Eren stepped inside, the overwhelming scent of vodka, and perfume choked him. It was blisteringly hot inside, hence why the arouma of sweat was so strong as well. Loud electronic dance music screeched through the expensive speakers mounted on the walls like trophies. The only way Eren could make anything out was from the disco lights spinning throughout the room rapidly as if they were on a roller coaster.

“Welcome to Club Rose, Eren,” Aidan smirked, and took his hand once more to lead him to the bar. Eren could feel Tristan's glare burn into his back. If he started a fight, Eren wouldn't back down. He was pissed off enough already.

“Are you sure you can just ditch your friends like that?” Eren frowned as he took his seat. Two silver haired girls were sharing the seat besides him, making out as if they were in a bedroom, not a crowded nightclub. Eren pictured his Granddad in lingerie to fight off the growing heat between his legs.

“You mean Tristan right?” Aidan cackled. “He'll be over it after a few drinks.”

“I'm not so sure about that,” Eren grimanced, turning around to see Tristan still glowering at him. It was a bit creepy to be honest. “I feel like he's going to rip my balls off and force me to eat them.”

“I'm sure he wants to, but he won't.” Aidan “reassured.”

“Great,” Eren mumbled under his breath. Now he could look forward to having no balls as well as having no home.

Aidan ordered them both a shot of Jack Daniels, winking at the bartender whilst doing so. As soon as the bartender handed it to him, Eren swigged it back in one gulp.

“You are having a bad night, aren't you?” Aidan whistled with a hint of awe.

“What gave it away?” Eren snapped icily. 

"Only stating the obvious, doll." 

"I'm not a doll."

"Yeah, but you're as cute as one."

"That's not a compliment."

"Let me try again then. I think you're fucking gorgeous and I want to blow you."

"I'm straight."

"That's what they all say," Aidan rolled his eyes playfully. "Besides, I don't believe that for a second." 

The floor was surprisingly clean for such a packet nightclub; not a single crumb tarnished its sheen. When Aidan was up that close it was hard not to notice how gorgeous Aidan was. The way his jawline was sharp enough to cut through steel and how the blinking lights made his eyes look like emeralds in sunlight. It was getting harder to ignore the teasing smirk which was making his stomach twist. 

"So..." his dangerously low voice trailed off. "You want to show me how straight you are in one of the private rooms?" 

The boldness of the request shocked Eren, but not as much as the fact that he was actually considering it. He thought of his father and how much it would piss him off, and nodded. A large smile spread across his face, and when Aidan took his hand he didn't scowl this time. A jittery electricity wriggled through his veins as he was lead into a low-lit, secluded room. 

"Just a quick mention before I suck you off, I'm not blowing you without a condom. I'm too young and pretty to get any diseases so if you're not chill with that you can leave now," Aidan explained.

"Whatever," Eren shrugged whilst slumping onto the black leather couch. Aidan hummed in amusement and dropped to his knees. Firm hands spread Eren's legs apart, making his breath hitch. Aidan teased him with playful squeezes and running the pads of his thumbs over the soft flesh of his thighs. Just as Eren's zipper was finally about to be tugged down, Tristan stormed into the room with an unapologetic expression. Great, now Eren could add 'is a cockblocker,' onto the growing list of reasons that Tristan was a dickhead.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tristan raised an eyebrow as if to say that he wasn't impressed. Eren swallowed the urge to throttle him.

"You're a big boy, Tristan. You know what's going on here," Aidan snickered. He hadn't bothered to change his position and was still perched on his knees.

"That kid could have aids," Tristan exasperated like Aidan was a child about to be scolded. 

"I'm not a kid; I'm eighteen. And fuck you for saying I have aids," Eren bellowed, fists clenched and ready to strike. Tristan reacted like Eren hadn't said anything, as if he didn't exist. Maybe if he strangled him he'd notice him. 

"Hush both of you," Aidan smirked, obviously enjoying being fought over. "Tristan, you know I always use protection." He held up a cherry-flavoured condom between two fingers with a wicked grin. Tristan just scoffed.

"Whatever. I came here to tell you that the band with the guitarist you want to fuck is about to play," Tristan informed with a tone as bitter as frost. 

"Oh!" Aidan's ears perked up like a puppy's. "Sorry, plum, but we'll have to postpone."

"Plum?" Was Eren's witty response. 

"You have to see The Survey Corpes, Eren. They're amazing!" Aidan gushed. A mixture of lust and excitement lit up his eyes as he spoke of them. 

"Weird name," Eren remarked.

"Eh, it stays with you," Aidan shrugged whilst offering Eren a hand up. Disappointment washed over Eren as they left, but it wasn't too bad. It would all be fine again once he stabbed Tristan. 

They weaved through the buzzing crowd to the front of the stage painted blue by the overhead lights. A towering man with neatly groomed blonde hair and striking blue eyes was hooking up a sleek, black guitar to an expensive looking amp. He looked like he belonged at a buisness firm, not some strange underground club with even stranger people.

Even though no one was performing yet, people pushed and clambered towards the front eagerly. The pulsing club music from earlier had been replaced with gritty rock music which Eren remembered hearing Mikasa listen in the car on the way to school.

A short man strolled onto the stage with a confidence that would have boarded on arrogance if it wasn't for his apathetic expression. He didn't smile or even acknowledge the audience howling like hyper wolves as he whispered into the buff blonde man's ear, standing on his tip-toes to reach his staggering height. The action was strangely adorable, but Eren had no doubt that he would throttle him if he heard him say that judging by the muscles on display through his shredded black tee.

Since it didn't look like they were going to start playing at any moment soon, Eren wondered what they were getting so excited about. Well, that was until he actually looked at him. Because there was no other way to state it. Shortie was hot. Like plugged in Apple-charger levels of hot.

For someone so short, his face was surprisingly intimidating with features so sharp that they could have been chiseled from stone and a jawline sent from heaven above. His hair was as black as the midnight sky and brushed the line of his hairless chin. His skin looked like expensive china, smooth and unfairly flawless. Various silver piercings adorned his face and ears and Eren couldn't help but wonder if there were any below the spiky belt hanging dangerously low on his slim hips.

Lastly his eyes, a smoky silver ringed in black, both from lack of sleep and dark eyeliner. He looked like he could trample over him like grass and Eren would thank him for the experience.

"Oh, so you're a Levi guy, huh?" Aidan observed with an amused smile. He had to shout right into Eren's ear to be heard.

"A what?"

"The guy that you're checking out; that's Levi. He's the lead singer so you've got a lot of competition, babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, honey."

"Don't call me that either."

"Whate-Oh my god! They're about to play!" Aidan squealed. He was right. The club was submerged into a inky darkness, the only light coming from stray mobile phones. Anticipation grew within the tightly packed space, threatening to the lift the ceiling with it's jittery energy. A chorus of clapping resonated from the stage as the members were submerged in light, making the crowd shriek with delight.

"I'll be the first," Levi began in a voice as steely as metal and as silky as expensive wine in your mouth. It was a deep, rough but soft, clear tone that filled the club and raised goosebumps on Eren's arms. A female voice sang along with him, harmonizing perfectly like a choir of angels. The bass began to build over the clapping but then abruptly stopped, leaving only Levi's chilling pitch to be heard. Until the beat dropped with the force of a fired bullet.

Eren found himself leaping along with the crowd, banging his head as if he was trying to smash bricks with it. He lost himself within the shattering beat of the thrashing drums and the bass line shaking inside his bones. All his problems were blown away with the throbbing volume of the guitars and the velvety bass of Levi's voice.

Gone were the stresses of school and family. The music dominated all of his thoughts, leaving no room for what now seemed like irrelevant problems. Ecstasy fizzed in his veins like champagne. There must have been something in that drink, because Eren had never felt so alive in his life. Even when the song unfortunately drew to a close, the excited buzz remained in the air.

"Well hello, Trost! How you all doing tonight?!" The drummer, a woman with wild hair and wilder eyes yelled into her microphone. "I've got to say, this is a gorgeous audience we've got tonight!"

The drummer, Hanji, spoke the most whilst Levi made sarcastic comments to whatever she said. With the disinterest he seemed to have in everything, it was no surprise that he didn't speak much and let the other members do it for him. He didn't seem to have any social grace which was unusual for a lead singer. But what he lacked in social skills he made up for in talent that was enough to make anyone jealous.

Standing besides Levi was a woman even shorter than him, with marmalade hair which barely brushed her shoulders. A gleaming red bass hung off her shouldes to her tiny waist. She had a slim figure and a kind, baby face which was easy on the eyes with a soft voice to match. But when she sang all traces of a fragile girl disappeared with her firm, powerful voice, transforming her into a fierce amazon. 

"That's Petra," Aidan informed once he'd stopped staring at the guitarist like he was a meal. "She's taken by Hanji so don't get your hopes up." Eren wanted to say that whilst he could admit she was attractive, he wasn't interested. But it was pointless since all of Aidan's attention was focused on shrieking his lungs to shreds as the bassist opened the next song with a riff that would stay in his head for days. 

Aidan banged his head in time with the pounding drum beat and so did Eren. The crowd began to jump and Eren joined in regardless of the aching in his feet. Despite the pushing of the crowd, despite stranger's hair flying in his face, despite the sweat pouring off his face and back, Eren wouldn't change a thing. 

"Wake to see, your true emancipation is a fantasy."

 _His voice is actually sex_ , Eren internally sighed.  _He must be amazing at dirty talk._

"Policies have risen up and overcome the brave."

_Don't think about Levi doing dirty talk._

"Greatness dies, unsung and lost, invisible to history."

_Just because I can appreciate a guy's attractiveness doesn't mean I'm gay._

"Embedded spies brainwashing our children to be mean."

_It's not like I'm one of those guys who can't compliment a guy without saying no homo. Doesn't mean I'm gay._

"You don't have long, I am onto you."

_I can freely say he is very attractive without worrying that people might call me a fag._

"The time it has come, to destroy-"

_What are they called? Guy crushes? Yeah, guy crush, that's it._

"Your supremacy!" Levi howled into the mic as the pounding bassline came back to life. 

_Oh, fuck._

                                                                 -------

"See! I told you they were amazing," Aidan squealed once they were outside of the club. The frosty air sliced Eren's exposed skin like a blade. Aidan had decided that there was no point of staying after The Survey Corpes performance was over, and Eren wasn't going to argue. He didn't have much interest in staying any longer unless it was to see Levi sing again. He could still hear its steely tone echoing in his head. "Where should we go next?"

"Home," Tristan answered with the liveliness of a corpse. Even though Eren eager to go somewhere that was void of blinding lights and piercing music, he rolled his eyes. Not for the first time that night, Eren wondered why Aidan was even friends with someone like Tristan. Everything about their personalities clashed like two opposing sides at a battlefield. He was curious as to how they met in the first place. 

"Awh, you're no fun, Tristie," Aidan cackled as he prodded Tristan's nose. From the hysterical tone of his laughter, he clearly thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. 

"Please get off of me," Tristian swatted the offending hand away from his face. They had seemed to have lost Emerald and Winter. Neither had really made much of an impression on him, so he didn't really mind. Aidan didn't seem to have noticed, but judging from the way Tristan kept scanning the area, he did. 

"Fine!" Aidan huffed but with no true venom. They carried on strolling the outside streets, but with Aidan hanging off of Tristian's shoulder like an overgrown koala. 

Eren sighed and followed them towards an uncertain tomorrow. 


	2. Supremacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm using song titles as chapter names because I have no original thoughts. Btw if you catch the Detox reference hit me up

When Eren's phone screamed out for the fifth time, he finally succumbed to answering it. The sharp shriek of his ring tone had become too much for his sleep-clouded mind to handle and he could no longer block it out. Eren blindly groped the air until he finally grasped his phone which was scattered on the fuzzy carpet.

“What?” He croaked, voice thick with sleep.

"Eren? Thank God. Where the hell are you?! We've all been looking everywhere for you!" Mikasa chastised with the firm tone of a mother. Only someone as close to Mikasa as Eren would be able to detect the hint of worry in it.

“Wait, we?” Mikasa was talking too loudly for what must be before eleven a.m.

“Yes, we! Everyone's looking for you, including your father,” Mikasa snapped. “You need to get back home!”

“Why?” Eren snapped with an edge sharper than a samurai's blade. “Tell Grisha to fuck off! He clearly doesn't want me there!”

“Eren...” Mikasa sighed and paused for a moment, searching for the words to say. “Please.”

“Not now,” and with that Eren hung up. He chucked his phone on the mattress behind him and groaned loudly into his hands. It wasn't Mikasa's fault that Grisha was a massive, gaping arsehole. But the feeling of regret at blowing up at her wasn't enough to make him get the next bus back home. Not yet anyway.

“You okay, babe?” Aidan laid his head on Eren's thigh and glanced up at him with large baby eyes. Eren immediately shoved him off his lap and squirmed away.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Eren demanded. Why was Aidan in his bed in the first place? Was this even his own bed? After a quick check of the lack of gaming posters on the walls and a startling heap of make up on a pink dresser that definitely didn't belong to Eren, he got his answer. No. He must have been abducted by Aidan and was soon going to be forced into a cage and made to dance for him.

“Asking if you're alright?” Aidan blinked. “I thought you'd be a bit nicer to me after I let you stay here.”

It was a fuzzy image, but Eren was beginning to remember the string of events that lead him to his current location. He had followed Aidan home because there was nowhere else to go and he had offered, much to Tristan's delight.

“I mean what were you doing all over me?!”

“That's funny coming from the guy who was more than ready to let me suck him off last night. Offer still stands by the way.”

Eren didn't bother to suppress his groan. What got over him last night? He wasn't even gay and he let Aidan of all people get down on his knees for him. He knew he got reckless when he was pissed, but this was something completely different.

“Look just forget that it ever happened,” Eren hissed out bitterly. Aidan only raised an eyebrow in reply, rather than shying away like Eren wanted.

“Don't be a cliche hon, you're fucking gayer than the Fire Island production of RENT. Just accept it,” Aidan scoffed with a playful punch to the shoulder which Eren dodged.

“I'm straight,” Eren narrowed his eyebrows and folded his arms, making him like a scolded child rather than an authority figure.

“Uh huh, and I love vagina,” Aidan snickered in a way that let Eren know he didn't believe him in the slightest. “Come on, Tristan's probably cooked breakfast by now.” Ah, yes, Tristan. Exactly the person Eren wanted to see at the beginning of this day that was destined to be awful. He was about to refuse but then his phone went off again so he reluctantly followed Aidan down the stairs. He wasn't ignoring anyone if he was busy, right?

Eren was greeted with the scent of a mouth-watering, greasy fry-up that was just begging to be eaten. The longer he stood not eating, the more painful his hunger grew.

“He's still here,” Tristan scoffed in a way that you could practically hear his scowl. He had a way of making people feel welcome like that.  _Ever heard of hospitality, dick?_

“Don't be so rude to our guest, Tristan,” Aidan smirked whilst taking a seat at the breakfast bar. "How long until it's ready?"

"Why do you think you're getting any?" Tristan cocked his eyebrow.

"Because I'm cute?" answered Aidan in a sickly falsetto.

"I only cooked for myself," Tristan shrugged and turned off the gas to serve himself. "I thought you'd still be asleep."

"Well I would be if a certain someone's phone wasn't screaming like Emerald on a long night with Winter all morning," Aidan rolled his eyes, but without malice.

"You're one to talk," Tristan retorted with too much venom to remain a friendly conversation. Aidan's eyes widened a fraction before being replaced as quickly as it came by an overly-wide smile.

"What can I say? I'm a screamer," Aidan giggled with a toothy smile. Eren wondered if Tristan gave himself headaches with how much he rolled his eyes all the time. Maybe one day he'd roll his eyes so hard that they'd pop out of his head. Eren smiled at the thought of Tristan running about with his eyes out of his sockets but stopped himself before he got too borderline psychopathic. "I'm going to order pizza, we need fuel for what's going to be a long day."

"Whatever dumb thing you're going to do, make sure you don't get killed," Tristan moaned, and yes, you guessed it, rolled his eyes.

“I don't know how we'd managed to get killed at a pride parade, but that's for us to find out,” Aidan grinned and nicked a slice of bacon off Tristan's plate.

“You're taking  _him_ to pride,” Tristan nudged his head in Eren's direction.

“I have a name,” snapped Eren, ready to shove those delicious looking eggs down his throat.

“So what if I am?” Aidan challenged, cocking his head to the side. So they were going to pretend he wasn't there. Fantastic.

“He's not even out yet; you can't force him.”

“There isn't even a closet in the first place, he still thinks he's straight.”

“I'm still here!” Eren exclaimed, slamming his hands on the table for extra measure. “And why are you all so obsessed with who I do or don't want to fuck?!”

“You two can sort out your little domestic episode, I'm going upstairs,” Tristan announced after a tense silence. He carried his plate with one hand and left Eren alone with Aidan.

“Eren,” Aidan's voice had taken on a softer tone. “You can't bullshit me; my gaydar never lies.”

Eren was so close to smashing a plate over his head. What was so hard to understand? He. Was. Straight. Did he want a list of every girl he had ever fucked and then another of every girl he wants to fuck? He was tired of everyone trying to tell him his sexuality when the only person who would really know was himself!

“Stop saying I'm queer just because you want me to be!” Eren yelled with a twitching jawline.

“I'm saying it because I know you're queer, not because I want you to be, hon. Although I would be disappointed if you really did turn out to be straight.”

“Just fuck off,” Eren rose from his seat and stormed towards the door. He was fucking done. After stomping upstairs to retrieve his jacket, he left the house, phone ringing silently in his pocket.

\-----------

Once Eren had taken the time to cool down he was stuck with the prospect of having nowhere to sleep that night hanging over his head like a grey cloud. Deep down he knew leaving the house was a bad idea when he had no money for a hotel. But he was still to furious to be putting up with everyone's shit in that goddamned house. There was always the option of heading back home...

Eren would saw off his right arm than see Grisha again. He hoped he felt bad for kicking him out like a dog and leaving him stranded in the outside world. Of course he felt guilt sting in his gut at the thought of making his friends worry, but he needed to be away from it all for a while. Besides, Armin and Mikasa were strong, intelligent people, they could live without Eren.

The park bench was starting to make his legs feel sore. The wet wood was seeping its dampness into Eren's jeans, making them stick uncomfortably to his legs. He had decided to turn his phone off. The constant vibrations were enough to finally drive him completely insane. Maybe if he replied back explaining that everything was fine everyone would stop calling. It was worth a try.

He held down the on button until he saw plain green wallpaper of his phone. There were so many texts that and missed calls that the phone companies could have afforded to permanently shut themselves down and live the rest of their lives in Paris.

Eren skim-read the texts which were mostly just repeating themselves. Come back, we're worried, we missed you, important exams coming up. Blah, blah, blah. Why did they think he wasn't back already in the first place? School, responsibilities, stress; why would he want to go back to all of that? A break was possibly what he needed. Some time to himself before he plunged himself back in the world of gut-churning anxiety and homework that took six hours to finish.

He quickly typed out a short, bland reply saying he was fine (lies) and that he was safe (lies) and has somewhere to stay (lies.) Eren knew that it wasn't really going to comfort anyone. However, it was better than nothing, and right then that was all he had.

“You alright?” A voice with a thick London accent interrupted his internal monologue. Eren snapped his hanging head upwards to see a short girl with her head tilted to the side. Her hair fell to the length of her back like a gleaming shower of rubies, the same shade of her plump lips. She had wide, amber eyes that reminded Eren of honey and a splattering of chocolate freckles on her nose like a mini explosion. Even a blind man would see that see was gorgeous.  _God Bless whoever created tank tops. Stop staring at her boobs. Stop staring at her boobs. Don't be a pervert._

Eren only realized that he was supposed to reply when she raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah, I'm good,” Eren fumbled with his speech.

“D'you want a fag?” She inquired and Eren found himself flinching even though he knew that she wasn't insinuating anything.

“Yeah, if that's alright,” Eren accepted and casually took the cigarette out of the (thankfully) clean packet she presented to him. She took another one out as she sat down next to him and ignited it, before lighting Eren's cigarette as well. They both took deep drags and exhaled spirals of smoke.

Eren wasn't addicted to nicotine, but it's soothing effects were greatly appreciated. He hadn't been able to have a smoke in what seemed like forever but was only two days. He felt a surge of gratefulness towards this stranger.

“What's your name?” She asked, releasing a string of smoke through her shiny lips.

“Eren, yours?”

“Alex.”

“Cool.”

They sat in silence. It was the kind of quiet that didn't require any words and Eren was thankful for the lack of coversation. There had been far too much talking for the past few days.

“So, wanna tell me why you look like you're having a midlife crisis when you're barely twenty?” Alex asked after she had stumped out her cigarette.

“Life,” Eren scowled and his frown deepened when Alex burst into laughter.

“You sound like you're in a shite indie movie,” Alex rolled her eyes with an infectious smile. “Come on, opening up to a stranger can be therapeutic.”

“My dad kicked me out,” Eren admitted and once he said he realized it was the first time he said it aloud.

“That's rough.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Where're you staying?”

“Nowhere currently. I was with some people but they pissed me off so I left.”

“Good thinking. Don't be around people you don't like, gives off bad vibes.”

“Now who's in a shit indie film?”

Eren found his face grow warm when she laughed honestly at his remark.

“You know what I mean,” she nudged his shoulder with her own.

“Your turn now.”

“For what?”

“Tell me something shitty about your life.”

She exhaled deeply and flickered her eyes across the drab, grey landscape.

“Where to start,” she asked to the sky with a small chuckle. “My ex-boyfriend died a week ago.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm not too torn over it though. He wasn't a good person.”

“That's...good? I guess?”

Alex laughed again with a weak punch to his shoulder.

“You're shit at making people feel better.”

“Sorry! I'm not a therapist.”

“Hey, I wasn't saying it to insult you. Just was stating the obvious.”

Eren was about to interject and say he wasn't being moody when his howling stomach interrupted him.

“Therapy later, come with me. I just went shopping.”

When Alex rose from the moist bench, Eren copied her and followed her through the barren park towards her apartment. In the back of his mind, Eren hoped Alex didn't turn out to be a serial killer. Judging by her short stature and lack of muscle, he doubted her ability to successfully kill him.

Alex lived close by in a small but spacious apartment which was conveniently only on the first floor of the towering building. Eren didn't know if his feet would have been able to take the strain of stairs since the lift was broken.

The floor was furnished with sleek wooden floorboards which were so pale they bordered on white. The walls were a light ivory also with tiny nicotine stains so minute that they were almost unnoticeable. Eren discarded his shoes and placed them as neatly as he could along the other pairs of gleaming footwear. Afterwards, he followed Alex into the kitchen where she was flicking on the stove and cooking what appeared to be pasta. It looked like the kitchen his Mother used to own with the cluster of saucepans hanging on the wall and the jumble of teacups strewn on the counter. All it needed was the cherry wallpaper and it would be identical.

“Need help with anything?” Eren queried.

“No, I'm good,” Alex denied but smiled regardless. Eren nodded and walked towards her.

“You sure?” Eren was quickly running out of things to say to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah, it should be ready soon anyway,” Alex dismissed. “You can help me with something else though.”

“What?”

Quicker than a heartbeat, Alex flicked the cooker off and caged Eren back against the wall. He was both shocked and delighted that Alex had been the one to make the first move, and so bluntly as well.

“I want you,” she whispered so close to his face he could feel her hot breath tickle his lips.

Eren didn't bother with words. He immediately closed the minute space between them and grasped the back of her hair which was as silky as he thought it would be. She gasped into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to trace her tongue with his.

They wordlessly moved into the living room where Eren was shoved back onto the couch by Alex with a starved expression in her eyes. Her irritating top was off within seconds and Eren took a moment to admire the beauty of her ruby hair spilling over the large curve of her chest.

All thoughts of food were immediately forgotten, replaced with a new kind of hunger.

\--------

Eren was glad Alex was soundly sleeping. It wasn't that the sex was bad. Quite the opposite actually. But he didn't know if he'd be able to look her in the eye knowing that it was the thought of raven locks and ashy eyes that brought him over the edge.

Shaking his head as if it would clear his thoughts, Eren carefully slipped out of Alex's grip and tugged on his trousers. He trudged towards the kitchen and opened the fridge. Alex had lied; the fridge was barer than a prostitute at work. Shrugging, he took out a loaf of bread and an almost empty packet of cheese slices that probably would taste like plastic.

Eren felt guilty for technically stealing food and in any other situation his pride wouldn't have allowed it. But he was starving and there may not be another chance for food in a while. Besides, Alex had offered him food earlier. What was the difference now? With a new attitude, he stuffed a few cereal bars down the pockets of his trousers.

He scanned the house for paper and a pen so he could quickly scribble a note explaining that he was going out for a bit, but he would be back soon. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity of a possible place to stay again. Eren returned to the living room where Alex was still asleep and put on the rest of his clothes. His shirt was starting to smell faintly like sweat and his hair was beginning to show signs of grease. Maybe he should shower first before leaving.

The bathroom wasn't hard to find. Although it was hard trying to figure out how to turn on the shower. Unfortunately, Eren didn't get a proper opportunity to relax since he didn't want to waste someone else's hot water so his time under the blissfully hot water was barely five minutes. Afterwards he quickly dried off, wiped off the condensation off the window, and redressed again for what felt like the fifth time that day. His trousers were still damp from being outside but it was barely noticeable.

He left the note by the floor of the couch before leaving in search of Levi. He needed to sort this 'guy crush' thing out before it got too serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late and kinda fillery (aren't I amazing at english?) but I needed more development to happen. But do not fear! Levi will be in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading =^.^=


	3. Lying is The Most Fun (Part One)

It was when he had a moment to stop and think his plan through, Eren realized the plan didn't exist. He knew he had to find Levi, but where? He didn't even know where he was in the first place; how could he try and find someone else? Levi could be anywhere in the city. What was he even going to say when he saw him? _Hey, can you stop making me have queer thoughts, thanks, bye? Yeah, that would work perfectly._

The longer he thought about it the dumber his idea became. But the longer he left it unsorted, the more it would bother him. Besides, he already knew he wasn't gay so there was nothing to worry about. So why was he shaking so badly?

Trying last night's club couldn't be too bad of an idea. He may not find The Survery Corpes, but someone else might will willingly to fix his problem. _Jesus, am I seriously considering this?_ Despite his repulsion towards it, he found his feet carrying him towards the city square. Eren hadn't been lucky enough yet to find a map, but when he did he'd make a mental note to thank Armin for forcing him to learn how to read one. That's if he ever made it back. He'd have to make do with street signs for now.

Due to some unknown wonder, somehow Eren successfully managed to make it onto what looked he recognized as the high street. Even if his legs were beginning to ache, at least he starting to recognize his surroundings. The club would only be about a minute away. Now was the problem of getting in. They may have gotten in free last time, but this time Eren didn't have a sparkly boy by his side who was willing to throw himself on a bouncer.

"Eren?!"

Eren snapped his body around upon hearing his name said by a voice that made him want to fling himself off the nearest cliff.

“What the fuck do you want, Jean?” Eren scowled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Holy shit! It is you. And are you still in your uniform?” Jean quirked up an eyebrow.

“Answer the fucking question.”

“Sorry, it's just-everyone's been looking for you, you know.”

Eren turned away and bit back a grimace.

“You're not hiding from them are you?”

“What? No!”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Just...None of your buisness, okay?!”

“If it's about the school you don't need to worry about it anymore. I guessed they changed their minds once they finally thought it through and realized it was unreasonable with your exams and all that.”

Eren froze.

“They must be crazy if they think I want to come back.”

“Are you not even grateful?!”

“Why should I be?”

“Because they've given you a second chance, you fucknut!”

“This was all your fault anyway! You started it!”

“What are you on? This was all _your_ fault in the first place!”

Great. They had managed conversation for literally a minute before fighting again, exactly what had got Eren in the mess in the first place. Even though that was all for nothing now since his school had gone back on their words and apparently accepted him back. Probably not with open arms Eren guessed. It didn't matter anyway. He wasn't returning.

“Come on, Eren! Stop kidding yourself, you need to go home at some point!”

Who did Jean think he was? Randomly coming up to him just to start spewing life advice at him. Shitty life advice he should add. Why was Jean telling him how to live his life when he could barely live his own?!

“Why would I want to go home? It's clear no one wants me there.”

“Are you actually being serious right now? Everyone has been going insane looking for you. Mikasa's barely eaten, Armin's scared shitless, your Dad won't stop calling everyone and for what? What is running away solving for you!”

“I'm not running away!”

“Then what are you doing?”

_I don't know._ But the words didn't dare leave his lips. 

“I'm not going back without you Eren.”

“Well you're going to have to. Bye.”

“Wait!” Jean yelped as he yanked Eren's wrist before he could even turn. “We're worried about you.”

Was Jean trying to have a moment with him? And more importantly was Jean blushing? Both were unlikely situations and Eren had to pinch himself just to check he was really dreaming.

“Yeah right,” Eren scoffed and shrugged off the hand clusting his wrist.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me?!” Jean was yelling now, his face redder than the obnoxiously bright branded shoes he was wearing. “We're all fucking worried sick thinking you might be dead and that's all you fucking have to say?!”

“Why is it any of your buisness what I say?” Eren demanded.

“Because we-I fucking care about you, okay? I'm not going to let you throw your life away for whatever the fuck is going on with you right now!” Even Jean surprised himself with the intensity of the passion in his voice.

“Aren't you supossed to hate me?”

“Of course I fucking do; you're a piece of shit. But I'm a decent guy-” Eren snorted. “-Look, I'm not asking you to come home since that's clearly going nowhere.” _So he does have a brain after all._ “But I know someone who wouldn't mind letting you stay round there's for a while.”

“Wait, so you're not making me go back?”

“What do you think I mean, you twat?! This is only because I know you won't listen to anything I say and I'm too good of a person to let you sleep on the streets.”

“I haven't been and I've got a place to stay so you don't have to bother.”

“I'm fucking trying to be nice you piece of shit.”

“Well stop. I don't need your help.”

“Of course you don't. That's why your stomach's rumbling.”

Eren cursed his decieving body.

“If you can't let me take you home or give you a place to stay, let me get you a drink at least,” Jean sighed. Somewhere in Eren's conscious that wasn't focused on the fact that Jean just did not give up, was slightly impressed by that very statement. Even if they were constantly fighting, Eren couldn't deny they were very similar (although he was still far cooler with _way_ better hair.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N; I know this chapter is short but I wanted to announce that I'm taking a small break for my exams soon. I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing though until then so behold barely a thousand words of somewhat plot.

**Author's Note:**

> Since I can't write lyrics the songs Levi sang where I'll Be The First by Kill it Kid and Supremacy by Muse. You should listen to them. Thank you for reading :D


End file.
